Forgiveness
by JoyWillCome
Summary: A collection of a few stories centering around Alvin's feelings about his "abandonment" and adoption.


Hey guys, first Chipmunk story. This will at least have two parts, though I have something planned for a third and I wouldn't be against continuing if I have more ideas. This first chapter is from BEFORE the boys go to find Vinny. I have not forgotten about her, she'll be in part two. Don't worry.

Alvin seems to handle rejection really badly, and it got me thinking about his thoughts about being given away, etc. Especially before he knew why. Just a warning, I'm not really a writer. And there is no dialogue in this, at least in this chapter. I hope it's somewhat interesting anyway.

* * *

The subject of biological parents was a touchy one for Alvin Seville. As an adopted child, specifically a chipmunk adopted by a human, he would often deal with people who were thoughtless with their comments and questions. Patience was not something Alvin had a surplus of and these conversations nearly always ended with him getting snappy and walking away angrily.

It wasn't a secret that he was adopted, and it wasn't like he wanted it to be. Actually, he loved talking about how the three chipmunks and Dave all became a family. He loved to embellish details, and with every retelling the temperature would get colder, the house dumpier, and sometimes he would even claim that he and his brothers were deathly sick or nearly frozen to death. And he especially loved to boast about how it was destiny that a super talented musician such as himself was literally dropped on the doorstep of a songwriter (who, he would claim, _desperately needed him.)_

The problem always arose when he was prodded about his "real parents."

There wasn't much Alvin could remember from before Dave—The smell of trees, the soft melody of a lullaby, the blur of a face. That was all there was, and as pleasant as all of that may have seemed, it meant nothing to Alvin. As far as he was concerned, any person who would dump three babies on a stranger's doorstep did not deserve to be called a parent, and even though he loved his family and the life he ended up with he would never forgive what he felt was one of the worst rejections a person could face.

There were times that he almost forgot he was adopted, and his biological parents were far from his mind. Life with Dave was so natural and right, he never felt out of place or like he belonged somewhere else. But every so often there were times he would struggle with falling asleep at night for days, unable to stop thinking about his "mom and dad". Who where they? Were they still alive? Did they ever think about the boys? _Why did they give them away?_ Did they regret it?

He would think about what would have happened if Dave hadn't been the kind of guy that would take in three troublesome babies. They could have fallen prey to something in the woods, frozen to death, or ended up in a foster home with a pair of abusive or neglectful caretakers. Maybe they would have been separated. Anything could have happened, had his parents considered that?

All of this questioning had left him bitter towards his parents, and he focused all of that hurt and anger into his music. He would fantasize sometimes about his parents one day seeing him and his brothers on television or hearing them on the radio and being shocked at how big and important the children they cast off had become. He wanted them to realize what a mistake it was and to regret it more than anything they'd ever done. In his meanest fantasies they would come to him and beg him for forgiveness. They would say that they finally understood that he was worth keeping and that they were sorry. But he would laugh and walk away, leaving them behind like they had left him.

But no amount of stardom or adoration ever felt like enough. No matter how many awards the Chipmunks won or how many fans they had the past was still the same. It didn't matter to him that he was only a child and had his whole life to reach his goals, nothing happened fast enough and nothing was big enough—it needed to be now and he needed to be the best. And no matter how high he'd get from the fame, no matter how proud he was of himself and his accomplishments, there was still that _one thing_ that could always bring him down and make him doubt himself. One night, he uncharacteristically opened up about it with his brothers, but shut down immediately when the word "forgiveness" came up. Forgiveness was out of the question.

Still...there was a part of him that considered it. There was a part of him that longed to see that face he could hardly remember, that wanted to hear that song again. Maybe there was a reason they were given away. Maybe he wasn't given to Dave because he was unwanted. Maybe they at least had a mother out there, the woman with the blurry face and incomplete song, who loved them enough to do what was best for them.

These thoughts were pushed away as soon as they surfaced. To hope for something like that just to be disappointed would hurt far more than the anger and bitterness that had become normal and somewhat comforting to him. But that hope was still there, if only slightly. He wanted that love that he imagined to be real, and he wanted to return it.

* * *

I always wondered why the boys were going to find their mother, but didn't say anything about a father. I like to think it's because they maybe have some very faint memories of her. They at least remembered the song.


End file.
